Sunday, January 27

literal sands of time.

[ Kolmanscop, southern Namibia. from thanks, hc]
empty, and barren, of what it was built to contain.
nature moved in.

the diamond rush of 1908 lured hordes and established their settlements,
including school and casino, hospital and rich housings.

diamond sales died off with world war one. people left.

by 1950, the shifting sands reclaimed their land.

[ Kolmanscop, southern Namibia. from ]

and this is how nature claims and intrudes-
grain by grain-
until the full weight of its organic mass is upon you and you must yield.

Thursday, January 24


[dhanuskodi, india. from lj- Landscapes.]

this reminds one of Patagonian extremes, where trees, too, grow parallel to the ground,
and grass dig tight into the soil-

shaped by unseen forces,
moulded, embraced, coerced-
a sensuous battle between object and environment
counted only by time.

kinda like social forces around us eh?

Sunday, January 20

chanced upon katarina radovic's photos. perhaps it was the unusual, and yet highly pertinent, subject matter (personal ads as conjured by the self), but i was suddenly boggled by the realness of a third persona we harbour,

beneath the Self we project in our interactions with others (myriad in itself),
and above (separate from?) the core self we believe we have at our base,

this third persona also stems from the Self, pointing to our wildest imaginings and heartfelt aspirations, loose from any real-world prohibition, but nevertheless very much tied to our desire to "fit into" that world, albeit dominantly and triumphantly-- a 'hey, look at Me.'

just as personal ads squeeze us into a concentrated strain- inches, typeface, stereo-characteristics, i thought i'd simply lay in their wake,
three words they brought to surface for me.

[ -from katarina radovic.]
dreams- eyes- asunder

underneath- cerebral- double

plea- please - smoke

enchained - aggression - play

hopes - sex - belong

pride - hard - hurt

we typically enter in exchanges with only the Acted Self of another, and from time to time, a sense of fairness and generosity may expand our minds to see the Core Self beneath.

perhaps keeping in mind the Aspired Selves of others may allow compassion to bleed into our hearts, such that we see the weight of ghosts unfulfilled in the people around us.

attempts - reincarnations - heart

on society:

...(and so) i thought studying this decrepit swarm of humankind could yield answers for our (mal)functions. so i read about us, and huff and sigh about it.

Thursday, January 17

to seek.

O.E. secan "visit, inquire, pursue," influenced by O.N. soekja, both from P.Gmc. *sokjanan (cf. O.S. sokian, O.Fris. seka, M.Du. soekan, O.H.G. suohhan, Ger. suchen, Goth. sokjan), from PIE *sag- "to track down, to trace" (cf. L. sagire "to perceive quickly or keenly," sagus "presaging, predicting," O.Ir. saigim "seek"). The modern form of the word as uninfluenced by O.N. is in beseech.
The religious sect of the Seekers is attested from 1645.
c.1175, bisecen "to beseech, beg urgently," from be- + M.E. secen "to seek

[burma. inle -all photos in this post by gabrielle bertier]

the means with which we conduct our investigations.

graceful dome, uncanny symmetry-
an astonishing work by nature.

how can one still believe in randomness when the most impersonal of all shows such calculated cunning?

uniforms and aculturation make all the same-
so does love and affection.

and we grow into
that which we learn?
what do we learn.

while searching for the light, will we, blind and small as we are, rush right by it;
does it blind us, whence we still cannot take on its glory and might?

"... god almighty wont remain almighty if people knows how he looks like.
god might be so mighty that he'll blow your socks off... "

[laos. ]
end the day exhausted.
the night won't offer respite:
one's ignorance is either temporary
- then brace yourself for the liminal test-
or death- in which you've lost at the grand game of life.
(eternally looking for something more,

until it is found.)

Tuesday, January 15

random (?) sparks

[after laos. udon thani night market]
puppies upon puppies, in cages, for sale.

[laos. vientiene]
people as conduits for ideals, dreams, truth.
and this, the glaze of memory:
should it be separated from the event itself?

Suddenly had this thought:

if Truth is something already to be found
within us,
and to experience Heaven is to be reunited with Truth,
then Heaven can be enjoyed,
-Heaven can be had-,
right here on earth in our lives.

There really is no dichotomy between Heaven and Earth,
just as the ancients believed-
and we really are connected
with the whole universe.

..Heaven on earth... Can you imagine!

[laos. vientiene]
monks' robes hanging out to dry.

Friday, January 11


[tasek bera, malaysia]
an impassive front.

what does it mean to be silent, to offer and reveal nothing.
will it draw you in, or be ignored.
where is silence born from. what are the variations.
(output is secondary to input)
(but one's feeding depends on another's willingness to sacrifice)

an impassive front invites many speculations, when none is needed, only patience.

Thursday, January 10


turn away from the obvious, the glaring.
start instead,
with a study of Reflection:

[all photos taken at tasek bera, pahang, malaysia]
they reflect, but not necessarily mirror. they show the same, but even more; they claim to obscure but in fact reveal the underlying.

how so?
taking our attention off the surface and superficial, their shifting surfaces deceptively confront with the whole, the entire, your overall shape. its as a conjurer occupies your eye with busy details that you forget the true magic of the mechanisms at work.

in the reflection you now see your true form.

your wrinkles are smoothed over, but the dark bitterness within now overwhelms; you see not the accolades hung over your neck and placed upon your crown but the young dream you once had; you are no longer a single independent entity but one amongst the fellow living creatures of your time.

seeing the self vulnerably reflected/ refracted, along with the rest of the vast nature-
your existence lies there in the serene impersonal waters. there ceases to be any 'you', any 'they', any separate 'other', when all are but a part of a single whole.

the water seduces you to be a part of it drown in me but one need only look up to feel reassured of a larger whole.

shaking out the silken tapestry of earth's beauty.
the lines dissolve, colours harmonise and its very reality quakes... a reflection entices with 'what is' and 'what could be'. look up and be told,

but look down into the reflection,
and imagine.

the dividing land, a boundary between objective reality and subjective representations?
which do you dwell in and which manifests a truer vision?

one mind, the type of all, the moveless wave
whose calm reflects all moving things that are,
necessity, and love, and life, the grave,
and sympathy, fountains of hope and fear;

justice and truth and time, and the world's natural sphere.
- p.b. shelley

(when murky depths dont offer much,
look up, go for air. )

often we dont look up enough, past the overgrowth of life swarming, bustling around us, be they concrete buildings or abundant green, external events or the unquiet mind.

look up,
water light as air turned white in the heavens, surveying our sisyphean tendencies.

look up upon its white calm and eternal blue,
recall the constant principles with which you carry out your earthbound life.

the day sets.
the reflection darkens, and our time for plumping any eternal truth is up.

and what were thou, and earth and stars and sea,
if to the human mind's imaginings
silence and solitude were vacancy?
- p.b. shelley